Personal Finance

I just bought my first home, and the biggest surprise was something I should have seen coming

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house front door
Clearly not my apartment ... but wouldn't buying this house be exciting?  Flickr / Peter Stevens

After five years of renting in Manhattan, I bought my first home.

It's a one-bedroom co-op apartment in a New York City suburb, about 30 minutes away from Penn Station by train.

Buying your first home is a major milestone! It's a huge amount of money and a major commitment. Countless people name their savings account "My first home" for years on end, looking to the future when that clogged sink is a sink they own. You're supposed to be excited and exhilarated ... right?

When I first started looking at options, starring listings on Trulia and scheduling full days to tour the neighborhood with realtors, I thought I'd have a constant hum of electricity under my skin, an undercurrent of excitement about the apartment that would eventually be mine. The days would be invariably sunny, the rose-colored glasses welded on.

Well, here's the thing. When I did finally make an offer, that apartment wasn't mine for another four months — admittedly, longer than a typical purchase.

Four months out of your entire life isn't that much time. And I was lucky enough to have my first offer on my first home accepted, which I recognize is an unusual privilege. 

But you try staying excited for four months.

I expected the process to be expensive and exciting. In reality, it was expensive ... and mundane.

When you buy a home, you don't hand over your hard-earned cash, waltz into a new place, and trigger a look-at-my-perfect-life montage like you see in the movies.

In actuality, buying a home is a checklist of tasks that exist in the background of the life you have now. Today, you go to work and make sure to call the mortgage company about that loan commitment. Tomorrow, you go to the gym and sign the form to allow a(nother) credit inquiry. The next day, you shop for groceries and realize you forgot to get an employment verification letter from your last job. (Darn it!)

By the time you're sitting at the closing for which you had to leave the office early, signing every paper that crosses the table and trying to keep up a smile for an hour and a half, you've been doing this for a while.

I did have my moments of pre-homeowner joy, fantasizing about having a car after years in Manhattan and flagging full-sized couches that would actually fit in my new living room. Things to hang on the walls with nails? Yes, please! My friends and I discussed the joys of the wide aisles in suburban grocery stores (you should see the place across the street) and I looked forward to having a balcony so I'd know if it was actively raining before descending 10 floors to the street.

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Packing, round one. Not exciting.  Libby Kane / Business Insider

But I'd thought that excitement would be more sustainable, not so easily weathered by the tedium of getting copies of the keys and watching your wordly belongings expand as you pack them in overstuffed boxes for the move.

That's life though, right? Your new job is invigorating until it's routine. Your new gym is cool until it's standard. Your vacation is thrilling until you come home. Just because it isn't completely wonderful every minute doesn't mean it isn't worth doing (see: exercise).

Now, post-packing, post-paperwork, and post-move, I own a home. 

And when you think about it that way, it's pretty exciting.

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Libby Kane was a personal finance expert who has reported and edited stories about money for more than 10 years. She previously held the Certified Financial Education Instructor (CFEI) certification issued by the National Financial Educators Council.Experience She has written and edited articles on everything from investing tips to model budgets and has interviewed dozens of authors, financial planners, and early retirees to share their advice, experiences, and insights with a global audience. Before joining Business Insider in 2014, she was an associate editor at LearnVest, a personal finance site to help women learn about money. Her work has appeared on sites such as MSN, AOL, Forbes, Slate, and The Street.Her team at Business Insider has tackled projects including:• Women of Means, a series about women taking control of their finances• Inside the Racial Wealth Gap, an exploration of the causes, effects, and potential solutions of the racial wealth gap in the US (finalist, Drum Award, "Editorial Campaign of the Year," 2021)• Strings Attached, a series of essays from people who have left insulated communities and how that journey affected their relationship with money• Master Your Money, a year-long guide for millennials on how to take control of their finances  (first runner up, Drum Award, "Best Use of Social Media," 2022)• The Road to Home, a comprehensive guide to buying your first house (silver award winner, National Association of Real Estate Editors, "Best Multi-Platform Package or Series – Real Estate," 2022)Libby believes in one universal truth about money: Advice is never for everyone. The best strategies, tools, and products depend on your preferences, financial situation, history with money, and goals.ExpertiseHer expertise includes:• Behavioral finance• Early retirement• Budgeting• Saving moneyEducationLibby holds a bachelor's degree from Wellesley College.Outside of personal finance, Libby enjoys reading, baking, and walking her dog.