Enterprise

Here's Why Microsoft Did A Song And Dance About Those Male Private Parts (And Women's, Too)

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Microsoft dance

Aha! The guy that should have stopped Microsoft from doing that crazy sexist song and dance in Norway has spilled the beans of how it happened.

Microsoft announced some updates to its Azure cloud platform last week in Oslo, Norway, and as part of that event, the folks in Norway wrote a song and performed a dance to it.

Basically, the performance was a bunch of scantily clad girls bebopping to a song with these lyrics: “The words ‘micro’ and ‘soft’ don’t refer to my penis.”

A helpful monitor in front of the stage added "(or vagina)." You know, to try and be inclusive.

Microsoft has been apologizing profusely ever since a video of the performance went viral on YouTube this weekend. (You can watch it here.)

But the question remains: WHAT where they thinking in the first place? (Or to use terms the song writers in Norway would understand: WTF?)

The keynote speaker of the event, Aral Balkan, has now told the story, in which he takes his fair share of the blame for the incident.

He didn't write the song but when they played it for him, he says he was so tired all he heard was a line that began with ”I’m a developer” and ended with “my penis.” He writes:

"I inhaled… and proceeded to ask him if he realised how sexist that was. You’re telling people that only men can be developers. Because only men have penises. You’re talking to an all-male audience. ... And, in an effort to help, I told them that they could at least include 'or vagina' in the slides (which were mirroring the words of the song)."

Problem solved!

Except for one tiny little thing.

Adding a reference to a woman's private parts does not suddenly clean up a ridiculously sexist, inappropriately bawdy song and dance. AND the addition of that word didn't even make sense.

But it does make one heck of a funny story.

Read the full explanation and see if you buy it >

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Julie Bort was Business Insider's Editor at Large for the Tech team. She loves investigating stories and shedding light on the tech industry's most amazing people.Here's a small sample of some of Julie's work.Former Pinterest employees describe a traumatic workplace where managers humiliate employees until they cry, Black people feel alienated, and the toxic culture 'eats away at your soul'Sex, tequila, and a tiger: Employees inside Adam Neumann's WeWork talk about the nonstop party to attain a $100 billion dream and the messy reality that tanked itInsiders say WeWork's IT is a patchwork of cheap devices and Band-Aid fixes that will take millions to fixWeWork's toxic phone booths were created in-house by its Powered by We business70-hour weeks and 'WTF' emails: 42 employees reveal the frenzy of working at Tesla under the 'cult' of Elon MuskElon Musk works so many hours at Tesla, employees are constantly finding him asleep under tables and desksHow this woman went from a Pizza Hut employee to a founder of a $4 billion startupAn Oracle insider explains how some salespeople gamed the system to sell more cloudTHE TAKEDOWN OF TRAVIS KALANICK: The untold story of Uber's infighting, backstabbing, and multimillion-dollar exit packagesMicrosoft is in talks to buy GitHub, a startup at the center of the software world last valued at $2 billionThe alarming inside story of a failed Google acquisition, and an employee who was hospitalizedInside Facebook's plan to eat another $350 billion IT marketHow a registered sex offender wound up living in an Airbnb hosting unsuspecting guestsA controversial ex-banker is the person who really runs Twitter — and he's gambling the company's future on one risky betSecret passages and skipped meals: Oracle's CEO gave us a rare peek at what it really takes to run a $37 billion companyHP told some employees to choose between becoming contractors with no benefits or being fired without severance'I felt like we were being extorted': Customer says Oracle tried to strong-arm him into a cloud saleHow the queen of Silicon Valley is helping Google go after Amazon's most profitable businessAirbnb host: A guest is squatting in my condo and I can't get him to leaveLIES, BOOZE, AND BILLIONS: How one of the fastest-growing startups in Silicon Valley history raised $580 million then spiraled out of controlGitHub is undergoing a full-blown overhaul as execs and employees depart — and we have the full inside storyWhen she's not writing for Business Insider, Julie can usually be found on the trails, on my mountain bike, or on my skis, if you know where to look.