The word "strap" could mean a lot of things (from a part of a shirt to a gun) but when we're talking about sex it usually just refers to one: strap-ons, a dildo you can secure to your body with a harness for hands-free fun.
While representations of straps-ons in media typically go hand-in-hand with queer sex, in shows like "The L Word," anyone can use a strap-on, regardless of gender identity, sexuality, or assigned sex.
In fact, more and more mainstream shows are beginning to normalize including strap-ons in their sex scenes like "Broad City," "Sense8," and "Orange Is the New Black."
Insider compiled a guide to everything you need to know about strap-ons, from picking your toy, to the best sex positions for beginners, to how to properly sanitize it afterward.
What is a strap-on?
A strap-on is a sex toy typically made up of a dildo and a harness to secure to dildo to a person.
The person who "straps on" the dildo can use it to penetrate their partner without using their hands to secure the toy. The dildo usually sits low on the body of the person wearing it, with the flat surface of the toy resting over the people pubic area.
Some strap-ons also come with an external or internal vibrator to help the person wearing the toy feel some vibrations on their genitals.
Strap on's can be used by anyone, regardless of the genitalia. While many of the most visible options are made with people with vulvas in mind, strap-ons with hollow dildos exist for people with erectile dysfunction or smaller penises.
How to pick the right dildo and harness
Choosing a strap-on is all about you and your partner's preferences, as there is an array of choices out there.
Starting with the dildo, the material is incredibly important to consider.
The most reliable types of dildos are those made of 100% silicone, stainless steel, and glass. Silicone will feel soft and the most life skin because of its flexible texture.
Materials to avoid are phthalates (a chemical used to increase flexibility in toys for cheap that has been linked to asthma, low IQ, and a number of other risks), jelly (which typically contains phthalates), and rubber. These materials can cause your body harm over time exposing you to chemicals and are considered porous, meaning they can never be fully sterilized.
Sex toys (especially ones made of porous material) can also transfer yeast infections, urinary tract infections, and STIs between partners, especially if you have multiple partners and no condom is put on the dildo.
Once you pick out your dildo, it's time to choose your harness. Harnesses are typically made of leather, nylon, soft plastics, and thick cotton. Leather harnesses typically don't run the risk of chaffing in the same way cheaper materials like soft plastics and nylon can, but all are body-safe to use.
Some strap-ons don't require a traditional harness and are known as "strapless straps" because they are inserted in the person wearing the strap-on to be secured and stimulate the giver's G or P spot.
They can be stabilized using a pair of boxer brief harnesses and are great for people who love penetration and want to use a strap-on on their partner at the same time.
Best sex positions for beginners
While there are an endless number of sex positions one can achieve with a strap on, some of the easiest positions to start with include missionary, doggie style, and any rider position.
This is because these positions typically allow for slow insertion and maximum stability, and are less likely to have the strap-on slip out for those first experimenting with one.
For people use a strap on for anal sex, other positions that could be helpful in addition to these are when the partner being penetrated lies or kneels on the bed, while the penetrator stands from behind. Or, both partners standing up, depending on their height.
Lubricant can also be very helpful to have the strap-on be inserted more comfortably, but be sure to check the type of lube as silicone-based lubes can degrade silicone toys.
The key to beginner strap-on use, regardless of position, is clear communication and consent between partners.
How to clean your strap-on
Cleaning your strap on depends on the materials. If your dildo is made of silicone, glass, or stainless steel and doesn't have an internal vibrator, chances are you can pop it in the dishwasher, boil them in hot water for three to four minutes, or hand wash it with sex toy cleaner.
If they do have an internal vibrator, you can wipe them down with warm water and toy cleaner.
Your harness care will also greatly depend on the material.
Nylon and thick cotton have the benefit of being easy to throw in the washer, whereas soft plastics can be and vinyl can be wiped down with soap and water but the choice of material is really up to what feels the more comfortable for both parties.
Read More:
7 LGBTQ sex facts you probably didn't learn in high school sex ed class
Tiffany Haddish: Why teens should learn about queefing in sex ed
