"American Idol" alum David Archuleta recalled his time competing on the TV series as a teenager, calling it "traumatic."
In an interview with Variety's Adam B. Vary, the 30-year-old spoke about everything from his sexuality to hitting stardom while being an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. At one point, Archuleta reminisced about his "American Idol" journey.
"I felt so disconnected from everything," Archuleta, 30, told Variety. "Like, 13 years later, I'm piecing together what actually was going on. But it's still a process because I still don't understand why people were so into it."
He added: "I think I was just in protection mode the whole time. If anything, I was putting a wall between me and everyone else."
Archuleta burst onto the "American Idol" scene at just 16-years-old and would go on to place second behind winner David Cook on season seven. He told Variety that the experience was "traumatic" and "miserable" because of the tension, adding that most of his fellow contestants had some sort of nervous breakdown during filming.
As reported by Variety, Archuleta remembered competing in round two of the semifinals with his cover of John Lennon's "Imagine," which successfully impressed the judging panel.
Former "American Idol" judge Randy Jackson told Archuleta that he was "born to do exactly what you're doing," but all Archuleta could think in his head was, "I don't want to be here anymore."
The outlet noted that the quirks of fame — cheering fans and thousands of "American Idol" votes each week — were confusing at the time. Archuleta said he was overwhelmed by "older male fans" speculating about his sexuality, the hectic schedule, and being pitted against his fellow contestants.
However, Archuleta struggles to blame the same TV show that cemented him as a teen idol.
"I get afraid to blame things on 'American Idol,' because something in me is programmed to say, 'I have to be grateful, because where would I be without it?'" he told Variety. "But at the same time, I've talked to other 'American Idol' contestants about how we all have trust issues. Like: 'You can't trust anyone anymore, not even your own family.' That's what we were told."
Archuleta continued to say the process was "like some weird grooming process, from the very first audition, the way that they were speaking to us, kind of like, 'You're powerless little bugs. If you step out of line, then you're out of here, and you're going to lose this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.'"
Representatives for David Archuleta did not immediately respond to Insider's request for comment.
In a statement to Variety, former "American Idol" executive producer Nigel Lythgoe said he had a "wonderful" time with Archuleta.
"I had a wonderful time working with David and was totally unaware of his grievances. I'm so sorry he has a bad recollection of his experiences on the show. He did so well in the competition, and his battle with David Cook provided an extremely exciting Finale," the statement read.
Archuleta went on to record his first single, "Crush," that went double platinum and appeared on teen TV series like Nickelodeon's "iCarly."
In June 2021, Archuleta made headlines after revealing he's a member of the LGBTQIA+ community.
At the time, he wrote that he was unsure about his sexuality. He initially came out as gay to his family in 2014 before later deciding he was on a "spectrum of bisexual" or maybe asexual.
