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2020-01-29
It's the season to get schwasted.
As the Super Bowl approaches, football fans planning to watch from home are faced with the most important decision of their spectating lives: what beer they should buy.
The answer is never simple. Love it, hate it, only sometimes drink it, everyone has strong opinions about beer. That's why Business Insider put together a blind taste test of big alcohol's five cheapest and most popular beers: Bud Light, Coors Light, Miller High Life, Pabst Blue Ribbon, and Natural "Natty" Light.
Ten of our most fearless reporters hopped at the chance to tipple some booze. They were led to a sealed room by a taste-test proctor, where five cups of mystery beer awaited each of them. Then, they were asked to sip from each cup and select their favorite based on taste alone.
'Twas the night before the game, and all through the nation, football fans were panicking, for they forgot to buy beer for the celebration.
Cheap beers.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Luckily for them, our team of Business Insider reporters bit the bottlecap to find the very best cheap beer.
Cheap beers.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Five cups were laid out for each reporter. The order of beers from left to right was Bud Light, Coors Light, Miller High Life, Pabst Blue Ribbon, and Natural Light.
Cheap beers.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
But the reporters were not told which beer was in which cup.
Cheap beers.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Unbeknownst to them, the first beer they were to try was Bud Light.
Bud Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
After tasting all the beers, two drinkers chose Bud Light as their favorite beer.
Bud Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Retail correspondent Kate Taylor chose Bud Light as her favorite, saying that it was "watery and chuggable".
Bud Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Visual features reporter Brittany Chang also commented that beer one was "watery and chuggable."
Bud Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
However, that wasn't a positive for her. She disliked the fact that "the taste went away almost immediately".
Bud Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Other taste testers noted a distinctly wheaty aftertaste when compared against the other beers.
Bud Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
The consensus: Bud Light is, well, light. It's chuggable and inoffensive, and people either loved or hated that.
Bud Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
The next mystery beer in taste testers' cups was Coors Light.
Coors Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Three alcohol aficionados chose cup two, Coors Light, as their favorite beer.
Coors Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
However, all of them chose to remain anonymous.
Coors Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
One taster detected metallic and fruity notes, saying that cup two had a longer-lasting taste than cup one.
Coors Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Another taster said that this beer almost tasted like seltzer water upon first sip, noting that it tasted less substantial than cup one.
Coors Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Oddly enough, those who didn't choose Coors as their favorite ranked it pretty low compared to the other beers.
Coors Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
The consensus was that cup two, Coors, didn't taste much different from cup one. In fact, it hardly tasted like anything at all.
Coors Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
The next mystery beer on the table was Miller High Life.
Miller High Life.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Miller High Life is advertised as the "champagne of beers". But does it live up to the fancy title?
Miller High Life.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Apparently so. Four tasters chose cup three, Miller High Life, as their favorite of the lot.
Miller High Life.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Even among tasters who didn't choose it as their favorite, cup three came consistently in second place.
Miller High Life.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
In general, tasters found the flavor of Miller High Life to be more intense and interesting than that of the other beers.
Miller High Life.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
However, not all tasters thought that was a good thing.
Miller High Life.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Taylor, whose favorite beer was Bud Light, ranked Miller High Life as her least favorite.
Miller High Life.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Our fourth mystery beer was Pabst Blue Ribbon, the notorious favorite of last decade's hipsters.
Pabst Blue Ribbon.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
No beer on the table caused more polarized reactions than PBR.
Pabst Blue Ribbon.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Two reporters ranked this beer as their favorite, while three chose it as their least favorite.
Pabst Blue Ribbon.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Taylor described the taste of cup four as comforting, while Chang described the beer as tasting of "fruits and armpit".
Pabst Blue Ribbon.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Shockingly, Chang also said that cup four was "not bad".
Pabst Blue Ribbon.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Whether they loved it or hated it, tasters agreed on one thing: PBR is pungent.
Pabst Blue Ribbon.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Testers who chose PBR as their least favorite tended to prefer Coors Light or Bud Light.
Pabst Blue Ribbon.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Last on the table was Natural Light, known more commonly as "Natty Light".
Natty Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Reactions to this beer were fairly uniform: almost everyone hated it.
Natty Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Zero out of ten tasters chose Natty Light as their favorite beer.
Natty Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Only two reporters reviewed the beer positively, among them Taylor, who noted that cup five was "watery but nice."
Natty Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Five out of ten tasters ranked Natty Light as their least favorite beer.
Natty Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
One reporter described the beer as tasting "kind of like paper".
Natty Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
The consensus: Natty Light? More like Nasty Light.
Natty Light.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
When all was said and drunk, the winner of our taste test was easy to determine.
Cheap beers.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
Miller High Life scored consistently high marks from all our taste testers. If our collective taste buds are any indication, it truly is the champagne of (cheap) beer.
Miller High Life.Irene Jiang/Business Insider
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Irene is a reporter for Voices of Color covering racial justice and stories for communities of color. She formerly reported on independent restaurants for the retail team. She is a Northwestern University graduate and former Fulbright Morocco researcher, and she is originally from Seattle, Washington. You can follow her on Twitter at @irenethesupreme.