Billie Eilish described her body as an "ugly friend" during a recent interview with the British newspaper The Times.
Asked where she is in her body-image journey, the 20-year-old Grammy winner replied, "Nowhere good."
"My relationship with my body has been a truly horrible, terrible thing since I was 11," she said.
"I love that my body is mine and that it's with me everywhere I go," she continued. "I kind of think of my body as my friend. My ugly friend! It's complicated. But what are you gonna do?"
Eilish rose to fame at 15 years old when her debut single "Ocean Eyes" went viral on SoundCloud. She quickly became known for her oversized, androgynous fashion sense.
She has since revealed that she began wearing baggy clothes because she "hated" her body and never felt "physically desired."
"Being known for the whole start of your career for one thing — she wears baggy clothes and she sings like this — it was driving me mad," she told The Times.
Because she felt "trapped" by her public persona, Eilish dyed her hair platinum blonde and wore a form-fitting corset on the cover of British Vogue while promoting her 2021 sophomore album "Happier Than Ever."
"No matter what you do, it's wrong and right," she said. "Wearing baggy clothes, nobody is attracted to me, I feel incredibly unlovable and unsexy and not beautiful, and people shame you for not being feminine enough."
"Then you wear something more revealing and they're like, 'You're such a fat cow whore,'" she continued. "I'm a slut and I'm a sell-out and I'm just like every other celebrity selling their bodies, and woah! What the fuck do you want? It's a crazy world for women and women in the public eye."
Eilish also said that, in retrospect, her adopted aesthetic for "Happier Than Ever" doesn't feel authentic.
"I'm like, 'Don't know who that is, but that is not me!' I didn't have any time to think. I just decided who I was. I just became that vibe," she explained. "And I don't know if that was necessarily what I really was feeling. I was just grasping on to anything."
